Grooming

Grooming – the law
Section 15 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 makes it an offence for an adult who has established contact with a child on at least two occasions to meet, or travel with the intention of meeting a child, with intent to commit a sexual offence against that child. The offence is punishable by up to ten years imprisonment.

The previous contact can occur through, for example, meetings, telephone conversations or communications on the Internet, and it is designed to tackle behaviour whereby the adult gains the child’s trust and confidence so that he can arrange to meet the child for the purpose of committing a sexual offence.

Recognising Grooming
There are different stages in the grooming conversations that adults with a sexual interest in young people who groom young people engage in. These stages are often similar to what you would expect in a conversation with a real young person.

1. Friendship forming stage
   Hiya..wanna be friends  
   The friendship-forming stage involves the adult getting to know the young person. The length of time spent at this stage varies from one individual to another.     
2. Relationship forming stage 
   Really like chatting with you ..wanna go private?  
   The relationship-forming stage is an extension of the friendship-forming stage, and during this stage the adult may engage with the young person in discussing, for example, school, home life, favourite music and general things you would expect to talk about in a normal conversation. This sort of conversation helps to create an illusion of the adult being the young person’s new best friend. During this stage the adult may outline the rationale of the relationship to the young person whilst also intimating his intentions. The rationale for intended activities may include, for example, ‘forming a loving lasting relationship / friendship’. This rationale may or may not include an outline of future activities, for example ‘maybe we could meet some day and I could show you how much I love you’ or ‘maybe you could send me photographs of you’.    
3. Risk assessment stage
   Who else uses this computer? 
   The risk assessment stage refers to the part of the conversation when an adult asks the young person about, for example, the location of the computer the young person is using and the number of other people who use the computer. By gathering this kind of information it seems reasonable to suppose that the adult is trying to assess the likelihood of his activities being detected by for example the young persons parent(s), guardian or older siblings. However, some adults are less concerned about getting caught and may not ask these sorts of questions.  
4. Exclusive relationship stage   
   The exclusivity stage typically follows the risk assessment stage where the tempo of the conversation changes so that the idea of ‘best friends’ or
    ‘I understand what you’re going through …. so you can speak to me about anything’ ideas are introduced into the conversation by the adult. I really, really like you..  
   ‘Nobody else would understand this relationship’..
   ‘This is our secret’..
   ‘You are in charge of this relationship’…
   ‘U can talk to me about anything’  

   The interactions take on the characteristics of a strong sense of mutuality, i.e. a mutual respect club comprised of two people that must ultimately remain a secret from all others. The idea of trust is often introduced at this point with the adult questioning how much the young person trusts him. This often provides a useful means to introduce the next stage of the conversation, which focuses on issues of a more intimate and sexual nature.     

5. Sexual stage 
   ‘have you ever been kissed?’
   ‘Do u know what I would do if I was there with u’  
   When the sexual stage is introduced it can seem like the next natural step because typically the adult been talking about a deep sense of trust between the young person and the adult and often this part of the conversations seems extremely intense. The intensity of the conversation may make it more difficult for the young person to understand what is really going.  

   It is during this stage that cyber sex is introduced and the adult may request pictures of the young person or he may send pictures some of which may be pornographic, or illegal in nature to the young person.

   Those adults who intend to talk with the young person on future occasions will often wish to maintain the young person’s perception of a sense of trust and ‘love’ and the adult may discuss being the young person’s lover in the future. Sometimes the adult may engage the young person in abusive cyber sex, i.e., conversations of a sexual nature that make the young person uncomfortable or are very unlike conversations one would expect to have with people the same age as you. 

6. Requests for face-to-face meetings  
   Some adults may request to meet the young person face-to-face and may suggest that the young person does not tell any adults about the meeting and to attend unaccomopanied a meeting place at a private location. It would be extremely dangerous for a young person to follow an adult with a sexual interest in young people’s instructions. You must always tell and adult before going to a face-to-face meeting and you should always meet in a public place.   
7. Ending conversations :-) @—–
   I love u..good nite..talk tomorrow
   Adults typically terminate conversations in a way which involve giving very positive encouragement to the young person and expressing love and devotion of the young person.   ‘Hit and run’ tactic Other adults may make a young person feel very uncomfortable before simply logging out of a conversation and not making any further contact.       

For young people this sort of experience may lead to feelings of guilt, embarrassment, shame, and concerns about an angry response from parents if they knew what had taken place. It is important that young people are aware that they can seek help and support in these circumstances. In addition, it is possible to report these activities to the police. Make sure you ‘Save’ a copy of the conversation or if that is not possible jot down the other person’s username and make a note of the chat room you were using, the time during which the conversation took place. With this sort of evidence the police should be able to track down the adult in question.   

If you have experienced online grooming or you suspect that somebody may be grooming you or a friend of yours, Act Now and Seek help; www.ceop.gov.uk